Various Whatnots
by rhetoricfemme
Summary: A collection of the random writings that seem to culminate. The homeless drabbles and bits of headcanon that leak out from time to time. This section is all things go, with various pairings or scenarios showing up over time.


I don't own Ouran High School Host Club.

* * *

His attention surrendered to the battle between priorities, Kyoya sighs, resigning himself from any chance of finding mental clarity. In front of him, the computer screen. Set after set of promising figures demonstrating their value from the glowing screen.

Beside him the phone, set on speaker, an endearingly mischievous voice on the other end.

"_Hey._"

"What?" _Hit the save point. Always hit the save point… _"What is it?"

"I'm trying to flirt with you, okay?"

The glasses come off, and he closes the laptop onto itself. He apologizes to Kaoru, who somehow understands that in this moment he is unable to focus on two utterly important things at once.

Like a saint, Kaoru waves off his apology. "I should know better than to call out of the blue."

"No. It's just review." Distance is a wearisome chore, though one Kyoya believes to be well worth the trouble. Even if he occasionally forgets to reinforce it.

"Sorry for being so absent. I didn't even ask what you stopped doing in order to call."

"Yeah, well. You should know better than to try and resist an Hitachiin, anyway."

"Indeed."

"You work too hard." Kaoru chastises.

"That's not about to change. Unless it intensifies."

"At least give yourself tonight." His voice lilts with concern, and he thinks of all the times Hikaru has had to remind him of the very same thing. And of the moments he's had to remind Hikaru.

"You said yourself it's only review."

"We'll see."

As well disguised as it may be, the insurmountable fatigue… All that it takes just to be _him._.. For the moment, it is taking its toll on Kyoya.

No matter. Kyoya knows how to handle things. And besides, turning that fatigue into something else is what he does. Spinning the daunts and the lassitude into something no one else can fathom, his utmost prerogative to stand separate from the rest.

"Alright." Kaoru concedes. "Promise me you'll leave it for tonight, and I'll hang up first so you don't have to."

"Promise."

"Thank you."

"Mmhmm."

There is a loaded silence on the other end suggesting that Kaoru does not quite believe him.

"Love you."

"Love you, too." _Click._

Dismissing himself from the desk, Kyoya thinks twice before approaching the bed, as it is a fate from which he surely will not return.

He hadn't time to mull over his alternatives before there came a rap at the apartment door. Caught somewhere between concern and annoyance, he scanned his mind over which neighbor could possibly be calling on him at the present hour.

Irritation took over, as someone impatiently began to rap at the front door. Quiet but incessant, it lacked a sense of urgency, and he considered leaving his caller altogether unanswered.

Suddenly, there came reprieve as Kaoru's ring began singing from the phone. He swooped toward the desk, bringing the device to his ear.

"Kaoru, I shut the computer for now."

"Good. Is that why you sound so bothered?"

"No."

Bewilderingly enough, his uninvited visitor remained present on the other side of the door. Though its consistency had waned, the distinctive sound of an occasional knock was still there. Moving the fringe away from his eyes, Kyoya stood on the opposite end of the apartment, surmising the visitor's intentions.

"It's quiet." Kaoru interjected. "What're you doing?"

"Listening."

"Interesting, since I'm not talking."

"Someone's been knocking for the past minute."

"So answer it."

"It's almost midnight. It's not panicked or loud enough to be an emergency."

"How can you be so sure?"

"It's not an emergency, just an obnoxious prank. Even money isn't enough to keep away the occasional strange neighbor."

"I bet."

"It's just—Gone." He waited a moment longer. "They left?"

"They got bored waiting on you." Kaoru laughed at the confusion in his voice.

"I suppose. Alright. Time to open it."

"What?! You wait for some poor soul to give up and leave, and now you want to open the door?"

"Sure. I'd prefer to know if they left any indecorous surprises behind."

"Don't you have a peephole on your door?"

"That's beside the point."

"You want to know what I think…"

"Not particularly." Carrying on with Kaoru was enough to loosen him up, prompting Kyoya to make his way toward the front door.

"I think you're scared."

"Hardly."

"Yes, you are." He teased.

"Kaoru?"

"Kyoya?"

"Is it not quite seven in the morning there?" Lifting the cover on the peephole revealed an empty hallway. Just as he'd thought. A prank, he was left with no one there.

"Yeah, it's early in Spain. Don't change the subject."

"Whatever. They're gone."

"Are you sure?"

"As sure as I care to be."

"So open the door."

"Why bother? They're gone. It's pointless."

"Scared."

"I prefer the term 'unimpressed.'"

"You're scared."

"I'm tired. And what do you care? You're more than three thousand miles away."

"But wouldn't it be nice if I were closer? A warm body to hold you? Sooth you against whatever is tormenting you in the night?"

"Indeed. I'm hanging up now. You're on your way out to work."

"And you promised you wouldn't do anymore work! You're not going to back out on our promise?"

"Maybe. I have no intention of—"

Again. There came a rapping at Kyoya's door.

"You have got to be kidding me. They're back."

"Oh."

"That's it."

"What?"

"I'm done." Snapping the phone shut, Kyoya threw it down before heading toward the door. Tired enough to lose sight of his common sense, it mattered little at this point how his neighbors might perceive this side of him.

Angry, a mouthful of obscenities at the tip of his tongue, Kyoya pulled open the front door, again finding nothing—no one—on the other side.

"What the hell?!"

He only first caught word of the culprit with the shutting of the door.

"—rude to hang up without saying goodbye."

_What._

Mind blank, Kyoya turned around, daring once more to approach the door. Swinging it open, there stood Kaoru, all jet-lag and smiles on the other side of the threshold.

"You were scared."

"Kaoru."

"And now I'm scared." There was little point in trying not to laugh at this point, as he found himself being dragged inside by the collar.

"Oh. You should be absolutely terrified."

"Love you."

"Don't give me that."

"You love me, too."

Should anyone dare pass by, they possibly may have heard seemingly uncharacteristic laughter emanating from the other side of the door.

* * *

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This was just something born out of a fic meme, and it got a bit long. But then, I decided that I'll collect and post those little tidbits as they come along. So here's the start of something casual and fun. :)


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